battle scars
by paul.sam.jared-lover
Summary: was up for adoption by dirty diana. i took it in edited and added.
1. in the beginning

hey, i took this story from Dirty Diana. i am editing and adding to it.

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**BELLA POV**

After another one of Phil brutal beating, my mom helped me into the shower, she had it has bad as me considering he's her "husband"

Phil's my stepfather, has been for the last four years, we live in Arizona, in the end of town we lived farther, but still close to town, my mom and dad, Charlie, divorced when I was just a baby. We moved here when I was 7 years old. I was able to visit my dad whenever I wanted, I love Forks, and I love the rain, the trees, the grass, the forest, the meadow I found when I was last time I was there. I miss it so much, but I haven't been there since I was 12 years old, Phil demanded that I stopped going there, my mom of course wasn't agreeing with him, and that was the first time Phil hit her. I cried so much for her and said that I wouldn't ever go there, hoping that Phil from hitting her anymore, I thought that maybe he was drunken, or had bi-polar issue cause next thing you know, he smiled kissed my forehead and left the house.

But I was wrong, I was dead wrong, as the years past, Phil became crazy and aggressive, he's always hitting Renee and I. I have no friends because of him, I have nobody expect my mom, she not allowed to have any friends either, we can't were certain clothes and must were make-up in order to hide of bruises whenever were told to leave the house. My mom has it worse around her face, she has a long scared the starts from her side of her mouth to her left ear, that side of her face no longer moves, she has blue eyes and pale skin, she has light brown hair, she's 5'4 and have scares all over her body. Phil has his private doctor come see us, he doesn't ask questions about how we got our scares, or why were always there, he just mend us and then leave us.

Renee helped me rinse out my hair and dry off. I was scared to look into the mirror all the time because I knew how ugly I've become, it's been years since I actually looked into the mirror, but today, I had to see what damages were done. I stood in front of the mirror, naked, I looked nothing like my mom, she's more beautiful than me, and I'm just the ugly duckling. I had more than fifty scars on my body, most of them weren't has noticeable as the recent one. Different scars that were all over my back, it hurt, not a lot. I've been in worse, trust me. I have long dark brown hair and a cameral skin tone like my father. I have chocolate brown eyes and high cheekbones, small pink lips. I stand at 5'4.

"ISABELLA AND RENEE, you have one minute to get your ugly asses downstairs before I come up and beat you to death!" Phil yelled. Renee helped me put on clothes and we were downstairs in less than 45 seconds. "Good little bitches." He said. He had a belt in his hand. "Now, I'm feeling really fucking horny and hungry after tearing that ass up, Renee go cook me dinner, now." Phil hissed. Mom said yes sir before running into the kitchen and starting his dinner. Phil smiled evilly at me. "Come here." He said. I walked up to him and stood, not staying a word. "Get on your knees, and take off your clothes." He said, I knew what coming, I started to cry, I hated this, I hated Phil, I hated that I was stuck in this house, we couldn't even leave without one of Phil manwhores following us everywhere, to the supermarket, that all we ever go whenever the house was empty of food, Phil sent us there, we weren't allowed to do anything, no TV, no phone, no music, no nothing, he just had us, sit in the house, every once and a while, he'd have a party, but he would lock us in the basement. In the basement there was a window, but after the first three times we tried to escape, we ended up in the hospital, in a very long coma, VERY FUCKING LONG. He always has someone watching the house like slaves.

I started crying even more when I felt Phil slap me, "No please! I'm begging you. I'll do anything, just not this!" I beg every time, but it seemed to just turn him turn even more each time, making to worsen for me, in every way.

"I love when you beg." He said, he ripped my pants open and roughly pulled my shirt off as well. Before I can even try and move away, he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me into the couch roughly, and roughly he slammed his finger into my pussy, I screamed for him to stop, I know my mom couldn't help because after he was done to me, he'd just do the same thing to her, sometimes she's try and help, but he'd only make it a "three some". He inserted two fingers into me, and forced thruster his fingers into me, over and over and over.

He quickly took off his clothes while I was trying to catch my breath, he's big, I remember the first time he had raped me, I ended up pregnant but then ended up having a miscarriage. It happened again after that under he started making me take birth control pills that my mom begged him to put me on. He was eight inches, and five inches thick, but now, he looked like he grew a lot!

It was then when he roughly spread my legs open and shoved his massive dick into me. I screamed because he kept pushing repeatedly over and over and over, through the air, I was able to smell rust, either I'm bleeding or my period came, either way, there's blood. He moaned and grunted, repeatedly, enjoy himself, but all I could do is cry, I turned away from him and saw my mom, she was crying to, she hated him as much as I did, but there was nothing she can do, there was nothing no one can do. 'Be strong, my little bumble bee.' She mouth to me, I slowly nod. I knew my mom couldn't do anything, I didn't blame her. Phil is a sick twisted man and I hate him, I hate him so much.

I felt my body go numb, and I let the darkness take over me.

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i don't own twilight!


	2. YOUR BEAUTIFUL!

Bella POV

Beep…beep…beep…beep

Ugh! There's that annoying beeping sound again.

I woke open, I knew I was in the hospital, but not in the room I usually in, this room was different. The first thing I notice was the cast on my leg, and several bruises all of my arms that were showing, I noticed next to me, my mom was also laying beside me as well.

On my mom side of the room, there's a beautiful view of the Forest; it was so green, something you don't see in Arizona…

I heard the door open, I turned my head to the side and founded a women sitting on the side of my bed, she has golden eyes, caramel color hair, she had a bright smile on her face when I looked at her, it looked like she was crying, I couldn't tell if it was from happiness or sadness either way, she wanted to cry, standing next to her was a man in a white coat, he had blonde hair, he was about 6 feet, and he also had golden eyes. On the other side of the bed, were five people who looked liked them, pale skin, golden eyes, but the only difference is the height, size and skin color, black, blonde, or brown hair color.

"Hello dear, my name is Esme and this is my husband, Carlisle. These are my children, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper." She told me, she was still smiling.

I didn't know what to do or say, I looked back at my mom, she was now awake and staring at me, she looked so weak a fragile.

"Hi." I said to everyone. My voice sounded dry and nasty.

"How are you guys feeling, you both been unconscious for a mightily long time." Dr. Cullen said.

"How long?" my mom asked.

"Around a month, your husband, Charlie Swan, comes to visit every day, but right now, he's at work…"

The thought of Charlie made my heart swell, that means were not in Arizona anymore, were in Forks, I remember he's a chief police of Forks.

"…You both have such a big medical record, by the looks of it, you guys should've died, but you guys are both fighter." I smiled at his statement. It's true. "But, I'm sorry to say that your old doctor has been locked up for keeping such things like this from the police, he's still in Arizona though…"

Dr. Cullen explained to me what happen, that his kids were roaming the streets after leaving a party and they were heading home, there home is surprisingly on the opposite side of town though, and heard screaming, and went to go scoop out what happened, when they had shown up, they saw Phil, was beating up Renee, and I was on the floor, dying, crying of pain. It's weird how I don't remember that though, I don't even remember much

"You both lost a lot of blood, so I'm going to ask that you take it easy, but you guys won't be leaving for a while." Dr. Cullen said.

I just nod, I still didn't know what to say, and I looked back at Rosalie, she so beautiful, it made me envy her. Her beautiful long curly blonde hair, her beautiful smile, her perfect white teeth, I mean my teeth are fine to since I'm not allowed to eat candy anymore, but her shine, her body is being shown off and she has cleavage showing, and you can tell she proud! Then there Mrs. Cullen, she has beautiful has Rosalie, she has a beautiful smile, a lovely voice, perfect body, and wonderful husband, and then there's Alice Cullen, she…she…just has beautiful has Mrs. Cullen and Rosalie, she has a boyfriend a perfect body, a beautiful smile, I hated them, I hated them all, I just want them to leave.

I didn't realize I was crying until Dr. Cullen rushed over to me.

"Are you alright?" he said. "Is it you leg, rib?" he asked.

It made me cry even more, then I was starting to feel calm all of a sudden, it made me even madder, and I started crying even more, I didn't want to feel calm, I wanted.

"No! I'm not, you guys are just standing there, looking beautiful, and I'm just here, looking like the ugly fucking duckling, and I can't even hate you guys for it! I…I hate myself instead. I never seem anyone more beautiful that you guys…" I had to stop yelling so that I can breathe and calm down. I took several deep breaths before calming down…

I closed my eyes and just wish that they weren't here anymore. I didn't want to see them anymore. I turned towards my mother and have her hold me.

"Isabel-"

"My name is Bella." I hissed. I didn't want to be mean, but, I couldn't calm myself…

"I'm sorry. Bella, you have no reason-

"Don't." my mom said. "No matter how much you tell her, she's not going to listen." My mom whispered.

She was right, she told me all the time that I'm beautiful, but I'm not, no matter what, I was wanted to die because of how I was. I tried several times and each time, Phil beaten me for it, he called me ugly spineless bitch every time he rapes me, which makes me think I'm repulsive. I know I look like shit, I have no "curves", I have an ugly laugh, heck, I don't even laugh anymore, I don't smile, the only emotion I tend to show is sadness or hate, or just a blank face, no emotion, no nothing.

No one said anything. So I just assumed that they left.

I looked back up only to see Mrs. Cullen sitting there, looking like she was about to cry.

"Mrs. Cullen I-"

"Please, call Esme, Bella, listen Bella, and I want you to listen really well, and there's no need to apologize. I'm just sorry that you don't think you're beautiful." She said. "Both you and Renee and every beautiful, I don't care if you want to argue with me. I know what I'm saying; I know what I'm looking at, don't ever, **EVER**, and let someone tell you that you're not beautiful because you are. You are very beautiful Bella. Do you hear me, **YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL**." Esme said. She was looking into my eyes as she said this; I had to blink a few times in order to see if I was actually thinking right. I felt the blood rush to me cheek for the first time in years, and I felt my eyes widen in shock, and I knew my heart was going crazy because the stupid monitor was making a lot of noise. I felt my lips curl into a smile, slowly…


	3. meeting claire

**Bella POV**

I sat in hospital bed eating some food that Esme brought because I hate the hospital food, it's been one month since mom and I been in the hospital, I usually hate the hospital, but it feels so safe and warm this time.

Esme comes by everyday to check on Renee and me. Her kids come to, but not as much, I think it's because I still can't look at them without crying.

Last week, we were informed that Phil was killed, we don't know why, we don't know how, we just know that when his manwhores came to see him, they found his drown out body in the house with no trace of blood in Phil's body what so ever which is weird. So mom got all of his money, which is like over 30 million dollars, did I mention Phil is a baseball player and a hit man? Well, he is, wanted in more than seven states, and own like twelve houses in different parts of the world and have ten cars, so we're basically filthy rich.

Me and Rene cried happily for hours, not because Phil is dead, but because were free and no longer has to be scared of him. Also, his workers were all arrested for life. Charlie came to see us so that we can get a statement, mom made me show him my scars it was so embarrassing because he broke down crying seeing all of them. They weren't bad; they're healing quite fine since I don't pick at it or anything, which is good.

Well, now I was currently laying against Rene chest while Esme played with my hair and hummed a beautiful melody that Edward wrote for her, he plays the piano and promised that one day I'd have to listen to him play.

I remember La Push, Charlie best-friend, Billy lives there, he's now in a wheelchair, and lost his wife, Sarah, in a car accident and his older daughters Rachel and Rebecca had moved away once they turned eighteen and never stepped back into La Push since. His son Jacob, likes to be called Jake comes by every once and a while, I remember we use to be best friends. I remember the first time he came and visit, he rushed out of the hospital, I cried because I knew I was that ugly, good think Esme wasn't there at the time, she would've scowled me, but the next day, he came back and apologize, it was because he was shocked to see me like this and wanted to kill the guy who did that, good thing he's already dead or else he would've gotten locked up

Later, I had met, Sam Uley and his fiancée Emily Young, Leah and Seth and Sue Clearwater, Harry Clearwater died two years ago due to a heart attack for being in the woods. I also met Jared and his girlfriend Kim; she's really pretty and nice, though she's quite.

They were all very nice, and warm, they talk to me and everything, I felt like I could trust them, it's weird, because it's like I can feel a pull towards all of them.

While Rene and I were alone, Esme would teach us, mainly me, a few things since I wasn't able to get good education but now, it's better.

The girls would bring in music for us to listen to, it's so beautiful, and I love all types of them.

Esme has promised got Edward to play for me, on my new Mac laptop, I didn't know what to say about it, but…I felt like a deserved it.

Charlie and Renee agreed to get a new house, one that's near La Push. Rene had me pick out different things that I like.

This was all so new to me, I loved it, I remember when I was younger I never like when people paid attention to me, now I love it.

Now, it was only me and Renee, the nurse had to kick everyone out, but they promised to be back tomorrow, and I get to meet, three other people that had gone away on a trip.

The next morning I woke up, I heard the TV on, it sounded like the game, and I also heard chatter then I felt something poking me, repeatedly.

"Is she dead?" a little girl asked. I was too tired to open my eyes.

"No Claire, she still sleeping." I heard my mom say.

"Why?" the little girl asked again

"Because we were talking last night about thing" Renee told her.

"Why?" the little girl asked again

"Because she kept asking questions," my mom told her. I couldn't tell if Renee was getting annoyed or not.

"Why?"

"I. Don't. Know." My mom said, yeah…she's irritated.

"Oh," the little girl said, then went back to poking

"Why I are you poking me?" I asked, with my eyes still closed.

"I thought you were dead? She told me

"Okay…"

"Well, I'm Claire…Emily is my aunty…" the little girl name Claire went on about her life; she's six and has a lot to say. She kept talking and talking, and poking me to check I'm in still alive. She told me about Quil and how that's her best friend. Man, could this little girl speak, then she started telling me about her school, her friends, her hobbies, favorite things to do, what she likes and don't like to do. She told me that my cast should be decorated with flower and pink; I hate the color pink, but didn't interrupt her.

"Claire lets go get you something for Bella to eat." Emily said, taking Claire into her arms. I thank the gods for Emily.

About an hour later, the three guys came, Paul, Quil and Embry.

"Hey you guys, it's about time you showed up." Jake said. "Well this is Bella and her mom, Renee."

"Hello Ms. Swan," one of the boys said.

"Oh, god, please, call me Renee." She said. They talked and socialized for a while.

Soon enough Emily and Claire came back with food, I ate while she talked more and more about her family and Embry.

Once I was done, I had lay on my side and tired falling asleep; of course, Claire didn't stop with the questions.

"Bella" Claire said. "Bella." She repeated, and started poking.

"Yes, Claire." I said finally answering her; I just wanted to kick her out of my room by now.

"Oh I thought you were asleep, good thing I didn't wake you. Are you tired?"

"No." I lied. I'm very tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep.

"Okay, how old are you?" Jeez, this kid could go on and on with questions.

"I just turned 16 years old."

"What is your full name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan." I cringed at my own name I hated it, it makes me feel old.

"When is your birthday?"

"September 13" I hope that no one get me anything, my birthdays are one of worst days of the years

"Do you have siblings?"

"I have none" I was grateful for, if I had someone like Claire, I'd probably be miserable.

"Why not"

"I don't know" it's actually because my mom left my dad before they had the chance to have another kid.

"What are your favorite food, ice cream, and other things you like to eat?"

"Hmmm…. Ribs, chocolate cake, stake, spaghetti, rum cake, rum raisin ice cream, lobster, egg, bacon, strawberries, corn…anything home cooked."

"What is your favorite drink?"

"I don't have one." I don't really drink soda, mainly water.

"What is your favorite color?"

"Blue." I said automatically.

"What kind of blue?"

"Any kind blue."

"No, there's sky blue, baby blue, dark blue, blue purplish…." She went on talking about the different type of blue.

"Okay, okay, blue purplish."

"Who is your best friend?" she asked. It seems this child is full of questions.

"My mom."

"What is your favorite book?"

"I don't have one."

"Mines are beauty and the beast." She said. "I should read it to you one day."

"Mhmmm." I was growing tired.

"What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?"

"Waking up in this hospital."

"Why?"

"Because, I miss forks."

"Where are you from?"

"Born in forks, but moved to Arizona." I told her. More like, I was forced to move there…

"Why."

"I don't know." And then I asked. "Don't you have to take a nap or something?" I asked rudely.

"Nope!" she said, popping her ps. "Embry gave me chocolate earlier!" she said,

I glared at Embry for giving this child chocolate. Thankfully, Emily slapped him in the head for it.

"What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?" she asked after a few second of silence.

It seems everyone was listening to the little girl ask me questions now.

The girl is asking a lot of questions.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

"I don't remember…"

"If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be?"

I had to think about this for a while. "Boring."

"Why boring?"

"I don't like to do anything…" I lied. It's really because I have no friends.

"Do you like to cook?"

"Sometimes…"

"God, because these guys eat a lot!" she said, everyone laughed.

"How did you get those scars?"

"Claire!" Emily scowled.

I room went dead silent.

"I was attacked by a bear." I told her, it's been all a lie, and I was attacked, just not by a dog.

"That's what happened to auntie Emily too. But she's beautiful." She said smiling at her aunt. "Are you mad or hate the bear for doing that to you?" she asked.

I had to think about it. Should I be mad that Phil scared me, should I be mad that I now have a family and I am now back to where I always wanted to be?"Should I be?" I asked. Esme had explained that it isn't good to hate. "I'm not mad. I have absolutely no reason to be mad at someone or thing, it's useless, I may dislike the person, but I could never hate." I said her. It seem that she understood everything I was saying to her because she awe'd me, as well as everyone else.


	4. finally leaving

**Bella POV**

I'm finally leaving the hospital today, I'm happy and sad about it because I won't get to see the little kids that were here that much, and it was fun meeting them

Carlisle said in a few weeks my foot should be better, and he gave me painkillers and crutches. I had to practice walking around with them a few times because I tend to trip a lot.

Mom was supposed to leave the hospital before me, but I begged her not to leave me. I was actually scared to stay by myself now and days, even though I know that Phil's dead it still scares me, his face, hands, voice, haunts me while I sleep.

Since its December now, everybody is in school, I don't mind though, I wanted to see the house with only my parents.

Carlisle made me sit in a wheelchair and roll me out side, I didn't bother putting up and argument because the faster I would obey, the faster I would get home.

I was thankful that Charlie didn't bring his cruiser, it would've been embarrassing, and riding in a police car, in the back might I add as if I'm a victim or committed a crime. It's actually an Adiu TT 2009. I wanted this car, I don't have my permit.

The ride home wasn't bad, my parents managed to make conversation; you can tell they still loved one another they're probably going to get back together soon…

"We here kiddo." My dad said, both my parents stepped out the car, Charlie helped me out with Renee grabbed our bags.

The house it beautiful, three stories, it's white, there's a porch swing in the front yard as well, with two small pillows resting against it, the yard has a fence around it and a mail box that said 'Swans'

I stared at the house in awe. It's so beautiful. Daddy handed me my crutches and I went inside. The first thing I noticed, it seemed bigger on the house side, there's a mirror that hang to my right, and to the left is entering the living room, there's a big plasma TV, a small brown coffee table, two cream colored couches and a rug and the floor. Around the room were pictures of me when I was younger. HOW THE FUCK CAN I FORGET. When I was younger, me, Leah, Jake, Paul and Jared used to be like best friend. I remember how Paul and Jake use to fight over me a lot. I remember I had like Paul more and Jake cried, and daddy was able to get it all on camera.

Next was the kitchen, it's fairly big, could fit about twenty people in there, the fridge is stocked with food and so is the cupboards, there's an island in the middle of the kitchen with food on it, near the stove there's a cooking book, is dad learning to cook?

"Daddy, are you learning to cook?" I asked.

He blushed. "Yeah, when I heard that my girls were back, I didn't want them waiting on me hand on foot." He said shyly.

"Awe, dad." I said.

There are four bedrooms and five and a half bathroom room. My room is the attic; daddy said he had it specially designed for me. The only problem is how am I going to be getting up and down the stairs without tripping all the time.

Dad seemed to notice, "don't worry, I carry you up and down the stairs whenever you need me to." He said.

"Dad you don't have to, it's alright, and I'll manage." I told him.

I learned how to do it before, when Phil had broke my other leg, beating me with a steel bat. I had to walk up and down the stairs by myself.

From the corning of my eye, I saw mommy whispering something into daddy's ear. Daddy smile turned into a frown. She was probably thinking the same thing I was thinking.

"Come on kiddo." Daddy said. Mom took my crutches and daddy picked me up in his arms.

"If I'm too heavy, you don-"

Daddy cut me off. "Don't worry about it Bumblebee." He said. We got up the stairs in no time it seems dad is stronger than I thought. "Alright Bee, close your eyes I want it to be a surprise." He told me. I did what I was told and covered my eyes; I kept them like that because I hate ruining surprises.

I felt him walked a distance before setting me on the foot. I smelt strawberry mixed with honey.

"Smells good." I commented.

"I know…okay…open your eyes."

I did. I gasped it's beautiful, I have an blue purplish that's in every corner of my room, and must I add, this room is huge, I could probably throw a party, about fifty people could fit in here. My bed is in the corner of my room, but not near the window, I hate sleeping near window, I always think someone is going to jump in and kill me. Anyways, also in my room is a plasma TV, three-bean bag, purple, blue and pink. Ewes the pink one have to go.

"I don't like pink daddy!" I complained. I knew mommy know I don't like pink for sure. Something about the color makes me feel weird, it's not me.

"Sorry, they didn't have any other one, please deal with it, for Me." he pouted. I rolled my eyes; I mumbled a fine and continued awing me room. In one of the corners of my room is a desk with a printer step up, with a lamp and an alarm clock read 4:33 pm. The window is oddly big, with a tree right next to it. I could probably climb it. There's also a paint easel. I went over to my bed and noticed there's a camera, I love taking picture, and I saw my bear, since I had from when I was like a baby sitting there, it's a small silver wolf with brown paws. I adore wolfs, they're one of my favorite animals, then its panthers and pandas.

"OH MY GOD! I LOVE IT! WAIT! GO TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF. I don't want to get the rug dirty!" I told them. I also took off my one shoe.

About an hour later, dad said guest were coming, so he scoped me up into his arms and brought me downstairs, as soon as he sat me down the doorbell rang and mom hanged me my crutches.

Coming in is the family that lives next door to us.

"Good afternoon, my name is Angelica, this is my husband, Charles, and our kids, Ashlee, Keyabell and our newborn son, Nathan, were the McCord, you next door neighbor." Karen said,

"Oh, well, I'm Renee this is my daughter Bella, and…my husband, Charlie." My mom said. I was grinning, mom called dad hers!

Ashlee and Keyabell are really awesome. Ashlee is 19 years old and goes to college in Seattle. She's 5'7, has pink her, but her hair is natural brown, and it fits her very well. Keyabell, well she worries me a bit, she's 16, her birthday just past, September 10, she has red hair [**she like Kat from Victorious!**] she so perky and filled with happiness, she has pale skin and is attending Forks High.

We talked for a bit, and promised each other that one weekend, we should go shopping to get to know each other.

They stayed for dinner, and became good friends with my parents. I showed Ashlee and Keyabell my room, of course, they love it, and Ashlee decided to take the pink jean-bag because I hate it.

Later that night, I got ready for bed; the shower was hard because I couldn't get my cast wet. So I had dad bring a chair up for me to use so that I can take a shower and peacefully went to sleep.


	5. DANGER DANGER

**Bella POV**

I walked around the woods, for what it seem like hours but in reality it was just minutes. I tripped every few times, and still felt the pain…

I came to a clearing and watched as Phil appeared.

He was different. Red eyes. They screamed DANGER DANGER! But I couldn't move, I couldn't speak,

I watched as Phil stalked towards me with a vicious smile on his face. I wanted to run so badly,

"Isabella…" his voice whispered through the winds. "You've been bad my dear, very bad. You left me, and your whore of a mother left me," He said as he slowly took off it clothes, "I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget, Ever." He was completely naked by the time his little speech was over.

"No! No please, don't do this!" I cried all of a sudden he was on top of me, and he slapped me to shut up.

This is just a dream. This is just a dream. I chanted over and over,

I felt him grip my neck, I started to scream again, he smiled,

"You will never disobey me again.

I shot right up in the bed, and saw my parents, watching me, with scared expressions, I started crying and they held me, I tried hating him, but I just couldn't, no matter how much I tired. I don't understand, I was able to hate him before, why can't I hate him again?

Was it because I'm free?

My parents decided to stay with me in case I woke up in the middle of the night, crying again.

I knew this was a dream, because I remember this happened after mom took me and moved away.

Leah, Paul and Jacob was hanging on at my house, I was watched as a younger version of me was hanging out in the house, I was about seven at this time, Leah was ten, Jacob and Paul was eight.

"Leah." My younger self said.

"Yes?" She asked looking up at me.

"We need to think of something fun to do. This is the last time I'll see you, daddy said your moving away." Leah said sadly. I could hear the sadness. I watched has I leaned forward and huge her, letting the tears I felt spill down our cheeks.

"I'm gonna miss you Leah." My younger self exclaimed.

"I know. I'll miss you too." Leah replied. They pulled back from one another and smiled at each other, I glanced over at Jake and Paul they were still talking about stupid things. I saw a evil smile appear on my younger self face

"I wish they would come spend our last day with us." Leah sighed.

"Leah, don't you think the boys need a makeover." The eight year old me asked. Showing how excited I was. I could see she agreed when a smile broke across her face. We both turned towards our favorite people and yelled out to get their attentions.

"Paul!" I screamed.

"Jacob!" she screamed. They pounced to our sides almost at once.

"What's wrong?" Jacob and Paul asked in unison, they were acting all tough and bad, I rolled my eyes.

"Are you girls okay?" Jacob asked. Leah turned to little me telling to explain.

"You guys need a make-over," little me said.

Paul turned to Jake with a small grimace and Jake smiled back impishly.

"Leah you don't really want to give me a makeover, do you?" Jake asked her

"Bee, I don't need a makeover" Paul whined. Mini me looked at Leah, we both put on a puppy dogface, and they both agreed. Small Leah and me jumped up and down with excitement.

In the living I gathered up everything. Towels, makeup, nail polish, lip gloss, and dresses, all the things that I saw mom use whenever she would go out with daddy.

I watched as the young crazy me and Leah put makeup on the boys, man, they look weird, I couldn't help but giggle. Paul looks so adorable.

Mom, dad, and Billy came into the room and saw what we were doing. I saw my daddy freeze at the sight of Jacob a Paul. My mother walked right up to us kissing my forehead and Leah, she looked at Jacob and Paul and game them an apologetic look.

"You both look…beautiful." she said between laughs.

Jacob was wearing a polka dot dress and Paul was wearing a stripped dress.

"Jacob, Paul you can keep the dresses it looks good on you." The boys smiled and started modeling, my dad ran to go get the video camera, and it was such a cute sight.

"I will NEVER forget this." Billy said between laughs.

"Neither will I.?" my daddy said.

Paul, I couldn't stop thinking about him, he's so beautiful, the way his hair is cut, he smile, his dark brown eye, he smile, he figure, he's like 6'3, the way he's usually half naked, his-shape, his voice, his laugh…

I don't know why he kept staring at me, but I didn't pay no attention to him, it's probably because I'm ugly and he couldn't look away.

I opened my eyes to see that no one was in my bed, and when I sat up. I saw Renee sitting in a chair, just watching me.

"Well, come on, let's go make some food." She said she helped me off the bed and down the stairs.

After we had breakfast, Ashlee and Keyabell came over, and Renee went the supermarket to get some more food, we went up to my room and hangout. I got a text message and Kim and Emily asking, pleading to come over, they really want to see my house, but I called Renee first and asked.

"Of course honey, I'll be back soon and then we can start cooking for them." She told me.

Ashlee and Keya stayed with me, saying that they want to meet them,

Ashlee tends college in Seattle and is majoring in art and business. Keya goes to school on the rez since their school burned to the ground.

"Do you guys have any…boyfriends?" I asked.

"None." They said simultaneously.

"I'm not looking for love and I have trust issue," Ashlee said.

"I'm to bi-polar and I also have trust issues." Keya said. "Beside they have to talk to daddy and get his approval first."

"He's overprotective or something?" I asked.

Ashlee smiled. "Overprotective, it's past overprotective, more like obsessed with his girls, and our new brother.

"He's gone to jail before because of us." Keya said, shaking her head. I stared at her.

They began to tell me about a few or their old ex's, each time ended badly, Charles gone to jail three times trying to kill their ex's for breaking their heart.

Soon enough Renee come home and started cooking right away.

Renee just had to ask. "Keyabell, honey why did you decide to dye your hair red?"

"For three reasons, one, my favorite color is red, two, my favorite cake is red velvet, and three, because Ashlee made me, and after that it started to grow on me, and now I love it!" Keya said happily.

I smiled, would I ever died my hair? Absolutely not, I like my hair, in the sun, it turns a reddish color, I'd never cut it either.

But then I remembered. "Keyabell, why aren't you in school right now?" I asked.

"Ashlee picked me up," she said, Ashlee shot her a glance before returning towards the TV,

I rested my head in Ashlee lap, while Keya sat in the love seat alone.

We continued to talk about random things until I feel asleep.

I woke up to doors slamming and loud chatter; I looked to see that Ashlee and Keya fell asleep

I sat up and stretched, but stayed where I was. The bell rang, I didn't get up but Ashlee and Keyabell woke up to the sound of it. The bell rang again, and I still didn't get the door.

"MOM! The door!" I yelled. I was too comfortable in Ashlee lap.

"Jeez, thanks for letting me know." Renee said sarcastically. I giggled.

She went to open the door and was greeted by group of hungry kids.

"I'm smell food!" I rolled my eyes. The guys ran into the kitchen.

I saw the Cullen guys followed after kissing their girlfriends.

"Hey Bella, how are you?" Kim asked.

"Fine, this is Ashlee and her sister, Keyabell McCord, they live next door to me," I told them.

We all sat down and relax, for the rest of the day, I notice a look that Seth was giving Keyabell and the same look that Seth had on his face, he's giving to Ashlee, it's the look of love.


	6. getting closer

**Bella POV**

I've learned a lot of things over the weeks.

I have to start school in February. I didn't know whether I should be happy or not, I just know I'm going to be the main subject of the school. Keyabell is always over my house since Ashlee is in college, though there are times when she would just magically pop up.

Paul and I have gotten really close, though he's has such a temper, tends to fight a lot, but yet I'm falling for him, harder than I expected. Why…I don't know.

I learned to play the piano thanks to Edward and I also learned how to play the guitar thanks to Jasper.

Seth has a major crush on Keyabell and Jacob has such a major crush on Ashlee.

Today, Ashlee is bringing over some friends for me to meet.

Charlie and Renee went to the super market, were having a Christmas party at our house; we have a week to prepare.

Friday the last day of school for everyone, today is Wednesday.

I got my cast taken off two weeks ago, which I'm happy about. L

I heard a car pull up, I went to go open the door and saw it was Ashlee and Keyabell and her guest.

Ashlee had her hair curled up, her bangs were swept the side, and she's wearing a purple v-shirt, and dark blue jeans, and purple converse. [

Keyabell had her hair in a messy bun, she had her black coat closed, her jeans had spots of white and shredded in some parts.

Then there were two other females, twins, they both look exactly alike, the same waist length hair, same brown eyes, same russet skin tone, same smile, it's really hard to tell them apart.

The first twin, she's wearing a white animal face hat, she's wearing a sweater that said I run with the wolves, with a picture of a wolf howling at the moon in red, her grey sweatpants hung off her waist, and her UGGs boots top them off, around her necklace is a golden wolf.

The second twin, she's wearing a yellow fitted SpongeBob shirt with black pants and suspenders, a gray hat and black heals, she also had a Invader Zim bag, wait, where's her coat? She probably left it in the car.

Also coming out of the car, is a man, he has red golden eyes with pale skin, and blonde-brown hair, he's taller than the twins and very well dressed.

"Bella!" Keyabell screamed my name and run towards me.

"BELLE!" I said, just less with enthusiasm.

We all went inside.

"Okay, Bella, this is Rachel and Rebecca, you know, Black's older sister." Ashlee said, she never referred to Jake as Jacob and Jake, Just Black. It's seems a bit funny, because we knew she like him has much has he likes her. "And that's Rebecca's fiancée, Craig." Ashlee introduces us.

"Hello." I said, something about him made me shiver involuntary.

"Hello Bella." He said smiling, he handed me his hand to shake, which might I add is cold, but I didn't shiver that time, and sat in the love seat with Rebecca.

"Do you guys want anything, water, juice, soda, red velvet cake?" I asked.

Keyabell jumped up and run towards the kitchen. Everyone laughed at her. I made it just for her.

"So, Bella, and you Paul, huh?" Rachel asked, wiggling her eyes brows at me.

I blushed. "No, he's just a friend." I said. She's mhmmed me.

"Well, did you see Jake yet?" I asked.

"Nope, we wanted to surprise him and pops." Rebecca told us.

I nod.

"So, what made you decided to come to back home?" I asked.

"I want to get married on the first beach, were we first met, I've been planning on doing that, but I kept stalling." Rebecca explained.

I nod. "How long are you guys going to be here?" I asked.

"Were actually thinking about moving back, we already built a house and everything we just need to go shopping for some things." Rachel said.

"Really, where's the house?" I asked.

"In the woods, about a few minute walk from here." Rebecca said.

"You want to go see it?" Craig asked. I nodded eagerly. I wanted to get the hell out of this house already.

Since it's twelve, the others probably won't be here until three or four o'clock, but they guys said that they have to work after school today so it's just the girls and I. oh joy.

Everyone went to go get their jacket from out the car and we headed to the woods, I kept tripping and falling so Craig offered to carry me on his back which I accepted.

They walked around; it's four bedrooms, four-bathroom cottage. The master bedroom is for Rebecca and Craig, right next door to it is a nursery, it's not decorate yet, but once Rebecca gets pregnant, they'll start decorating it. There's a guest room and then there Rachel room until she's gets settled and get a job and then she'll move into her own home, which is on the first floor. They have a kitchen, a small dining room and a garage already packed with cars, there's a view of a lake a few yards over,

They have different photos around the house, with different people, there's a family portrait.

"That's my family." Craig said, coming to stand next to Bella. The family has seven people in it, his parent, the twins Rachel and Rebecca and his younger siblings,

"Do you visit them?" Bella asked.

"Sometimes, it's hard to see them sometimes…I don't really have…much control around them." Craig said, choosing his words careful.

"Are they going to be at the wedding?" Bella asked.

"Of course, my father offered to walk Rebecca down the aisle if her father wont." Craig explained.

"So, why did you guys decided to move here, in the middle of the woods?"

"Becca, Rach and I always met here and hang out, it was easy to hang around them, even when I was tempted to do things I know I wasn't suppose to do, but they were my personal Goddess, they explained and helped me through things when I had no one else." He explained. "But it's my entire fault…the fact that their own father basically banned them from where they grew up, they had no one else."

"But you guys had each other, that's what's important." Bella said. "Things happen for a reason." Bella said again. "

He smiled.

They went to the kitchen to join the others.

Everyone had decided to go play in the snow.

The decided to play tag, Craig was trying to catch everyone, as humanly has possible, the girl were screaming and running around.


	7. pregnant

**Bella POV**

We were playing and having fun and all of a sudden Craig suggested we get me and Keyabell back home because it's was getting late. When we got home, everyone was happy to see that we were okay. Jake was very happy to see his sister and even happier to know that they were staying. Paul was just happy to have me in his arms. My parents told me if I were to leave the house like that again, I'd get grounded which is funny because I have never been grounded before.

It is now Friday, the last day of school for everyone.

Seth and Keyabell are going out, or at least that is what it seems like to me, I don't know, I haven't seen them kiss so I guess they're best-friends, like me and Paul.

Mom is pregnant, I find it crazy that she's pregnant even after all that's happened at first I was disgusted because my parent are…having sex…I was ill and begged them to clean anywhere they were, but then after a while, I was happy because I could finally be a big sister towards my little brother or sister.

Well, according to everyone I am different, I grew a few inches, I went from 5'4 to 5'8, I am no longer an shy girl who always kept quiet, I am what you call "Paul's second half or Ashlee-Leah twin" has what Emmett calls me. I now have a temper, a bad mouth and an attitude, and I threaten people a lot nowadays, my parents think that Paul is a bad influence along with everyone else and is making them leave early and not hang around me a lot which is annoying.

Well, the other day I saw something I was not suppose to see that made me wonder, what the hell are they because they're surely not human…

In my room, waiting for Paul to come over when I was sitting at the back window in my room, weird, I never noticed it before, anyways, I was just watching the snow on the floor, surprisingly it wasn't snowing or anything, when I notice Ashlee, Rebecca and Rachel walk out of the house, they looked around for a while before continuing walking.

THE FUCK? WHERE ARE THEIR JACKETS! I mentally screamed at myself, causing a headache. I watched as they walked toward the woods before exploding into a big fur ball. I freaked out and jumped off from where I was sitting, causing a thud to happen, upset with myself that I got scared in the first place.

That day I was so scared to be around them. I noticed each and every one of their furs. Rachel and Rebecca look the same, Ashlee on the other hand seemed completely different, she looked more…cattish, if you'd call it, she has a long tail and beautiful cat eyes, but her fur is brown, or a russet color, or in between.

I had a panic attack that day, boy did my dad and Paul have a fit, they kept trying to figure of what caused my panic attack, I couldn't tell them, they would think I'm crazy so I just told them that I didn't remember.

I written so some songs and poems, I've composed a lot of music and lullabies with my piano and guitar, I also drawn a lot of people and more wolves. I had weird dreams so I had to write them down as well.

I can't get Paul out my head. It's annoying but yet...loving. My favorite poem is 'Love to be'; it's nice and about Paul, his and mine life stories.

You think it'll be easy to express my feelings but it's not

Nothing easy nowadays

I always want to stand by your side

Nothing will ever come in between us

One day when the sky is falling, I will be standing right next to you and will whisper these words. 'I love you Paul LaHote.

I don't know where we stand in our friendship. One day he's nice to me, next day he doesn't want to talk to me, or he just avoids me. I just want to slap the bitch for pissing me the fuck off, the stupid fucker doesn't know that TWO can play at this game, but I sometimes can't help but feel like putty in his hands whenever he smiles at me, I can't breathe, I feel the butterflies in my stomach, and it sometimes makes me dizzy.

A Christmas party was going to be held at our house, boy was my mom excited, but she was always tired and hungry and what not. She's been looking pale lately, I guess the pregnancy shit is getting to her or something,

Knock, knock.

"Come in." I called as I picked up a different paintbrush. I watch has dad walked into the room, he seemed sick. "Dad, what's wrong?" I asked, placing my pedal with paint down and fixing my easel so that it didn't fall.

"Renee is having terrible morning sickness."

"Well, come on!" I said, jogging out the room and down to their room.

Moms lying on the bed, with a trash next to her and a water bottle in her hand, you can smell vomit just from the door.

"Mom, are you okay?" I asked, rushing to her side. But she held up her hand to stop me,

"Don't come closer, you smell like rotten old strawberries." She mumbled before throwing up again, I ran back over to where Charlie was standing.

"Sorry." I told her.

She cleaned off her mouth. "S'okay." She told me. "Honey, I'm going to need you to do something's for me, is that okay?" she asked.

"Oh course." I told her.

"I don't think I'll be able to get out of bed for a while, and honestly, I don't want to try, call Emily and tell her I'm sick and ask her if she can come over and help cook for tomorrow, please baby, mommy is feeling really sick, and can you make me some soup and get me some crackers and ginger ale, with some mint tea, two spoons on sugar incase they're nasty, thank you." She said before running to the bathroom.

Oh good, she sounds horrible.

"Okay." I yelled.

"Here." Dad said handing me mom's blackberry and a list, a very long list.

"Oh god." I mumble.

"Yeah I know, Bella, I'd help you it just…I don't wan –"

"It's okay dad, you don't want to leave mom hear alone, I wouldn't want you to leave her anyways. I got this under control, beside you shouldn't leave pregnant woman alone anyways."

"Thank you BumbleBee." He said.

I took things and left.

Did I forget to mention that my phone fell down the stairs; I don't want to talk about it because it's too tragic and retarded.

I texted Emily.

Hey Em, its Bella, moms sick, is you still coming over to help with the cooking and shopping? –B

I sent it then went upstairs to go get ready. I took a shower and ten minutes I was ready in twenty minutes, wearing my destroyed baby blue stretched Denim skinny jeans, with a Mickey Mouse cross shirt, a gray v-neck cardigan, my Christian Louboutin Platforms heels, I am now obsessed with heels, I grabbed my fuck you ring that Paul gave me and my Panda bear necklace with Keyabell gave me also, and my bag with my cards and other things that I must bring around…

I checked mom phone, nothing. Hmmm, I thought Emily would've responded by now.

I went downstairs and ate a quick check over the list, I'm sure this would come up to more than $200 for sure.

The doorbell rang.

It's Charlotte and Mikhaila, Paul's mom and little sister. [**AN I don't remember if I mention them before, correct me if anything**)

"Hi Bella, I'm really, sorry to drop by like this, but can you please watch Kayla, I have to run to work and I don't know where her father is at, please." She pled.

"It's no problem; I'll bring her with me because I have to go to the supermarket it." I assured her.

"Thank you." She said running back towards her car.

I never really got the chance to meet Mikhaila because she's always with her dad. Or at least that what Paul tells me,

"Hi Bella." She said.

She's eight years old, russet skin, curly hair and dimple smile.

"Hi." She said happily, hugging my legs.

"Hey Mikhaila…is it okay if I call you Mickey?" I asked.

She nodded happily. I smiled.

We made our way to the car; I helped her into the car and buckled her up then went around and started up the car.

I got in the car and left and made my way towards the supermarket. When I got there, I noticed a group of boys just hanging out there, I check the time, 1:09 pm…shouldn't they be in school?

Well, Mikhaila and me made our way inside the market. She asked in if she can ride in the trolley, I accepted, that way I didn't have to worry about her always not being around me or next to me,

I checked the list, have I went through the isle.

"Could we get cookies and candy?" she asked.

"Of course Mickey,"

I grabbed chocolate cookies, marshmallow, and crackers, anything that was sweet. D

By the time I was done, I had three carts, which of course I had to ask someone to help me push, I checked moms phone and still no message from Emily. I was starting to get worried. I call her cell phone, it went straight to voicemail.

Hi, sorry I wasn't able to get your call, leave a message, BEEP.

Hey Em it's Bella, I'm going to the supermarket now, meet me there so you can help me with everything, okay? Bye.

I hung up and drove off into town,

…**..…...**

…**.….…**

…**..**

By the time we got back home, it was a little over 3 o'clock,

When we got to the house, dad helped us unload the truck.

I was exhausted, but it was only 3:30 pm. I still had to go to the mall and go shopping for everyone Christmas outfits.

I didn't know where everyone was at, I called Kim's, Jake house, Ashlee, Keyabell, and the Cullen's phones, but no one picked up, but then I remember that Ashlee went back to college until Christmas so I wont be hearing from her anytime soon, then I remembered the their parents are leaving for a few weeks so Ashlee and Keyabell will be staying with us starting next week. I decided to call Charlotte and ask her if she got Charlotte Christmas outfit, she had totally forgotten about it so I told her I would buy her something with everyone else. I called Paul's phone but it went straight to voicemail. I was very annoyed now. I decided to go shopping now with Mickey since no one else was picking up there phone, I told daddy and left,

We got to the mall and started shopping, I first found things for Mikhaila, she liked almost everything that was there, I didn't mind shopping for her, I love seeing her smile, I ended up spending $200 on her, I brought most of the things to the car, I think I'm going to regret changing the car to the Lexus, anyways, once we were finished we started shopping for myself, I asked Mickey what she thought of everything I wore, she like everything, expect anything that was in pink of white, she said it to original, I just laughed at her but got them anyways, I got several more heels, boots and slippers for the summer which we were cheaper than everything else, I ended up spending $400. I was tired and hungry, so we headed off the food court, when we got there, I ordered a cheeseburger with onion and fries and I got Mikhaila a happy meal.

When we got home, we were exhausted, Mickey was already asleep so I brought her upstairs and left her in my room, I went back downstairs and unpacked everything from the car, I checked and noticed that they were asleep, usually mom would be awake now cleaning but she was in no shape to clean, so I clean, man let me tell you, it's a lot of work, now I understand why mom tries to always keep the house clean.

About an hour or so after I was finished cleaning, I locked the door, turned off the lights and I went upstairs and fell asleep next to Mikhaila.

…

…**..**

…

The past few days seemed to flow right by without any problems, I woke up and would fall into the same routine every morning, wake up next to Paul, shower and then get dress, make breakfast for Paul while he shower and later make more breakfast for my parents, set up daddy work items for him to pick up and leave, leave food for mom for her weird hungry problems, watch TV with Paul and the guys and girls and the Cullen's, get made fun of by Emmett, then kick everyone out and head upstairs with Paul and make him sit so that I can draw him and then fall asleep, so yeah, basically the same thing every day.

I haven't seen the twins or Ashlee and Keyabell in days, that makes me worry, Seth and Jacob seem to ask about them everyday though,

I woke up the next morning cold and alone, I turned to see that Paul wasn't in my bed, but there was a note on the pillow,

Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up so I showed myself out, Sam called, I have to go to work, see you around noon for my breakfast.

-Paul

I rolled my eyes, typical Paul. I never question him on his whereabouts or the fact that he would suspiciously leaving at random times, though it does worry me, I sometimes think that something bad will happen, I don't even know what he does or work has or with work, well other than Sam.

I got out of bed and took my shower, once I was done; I put on some sweats and a LOVE shirt that stopped above my belly bottom.

**Third PERSON-**

CHRISTMAS MORNING

Downstairs the family, was the whole family,

Everyone had opened his or her gifts. Esme got a sweater with her name on it, a portrait of her and Carlisle that Bella drew, and a gold bracelet, with many different charms, such as a 'mom', a heart, a dog, a cat, and a charm with her name engraved in it. Esme laughed but was slightly confused on why there was a cat, but Ashlee just shrug it off. Carlisle got a Panther tooth because Edward told Bella that he's interested in things like that. Bella didn't get many things because she didn't ask for a lot, but the younger wolves did receive plenty of gifts. Rosalie got 24k heart shaped diamond, with her name and Emmett names carved in the back of it and a new BMW from Emmett. Alice got a gift card for a spa week for her and company. Renee got bracelet with her favorite foods on it, ice cream, cake, bacon, sandwich, etc. Seth got a self portrait of him and Keyabell together,

**Paul P.O.V**

Keyabell had given me book. I don't know why but she did, she told me go read it.

The cover of the book said 'What it feels to be me'. It's Bella's book I loved her handwriting. I don't know why but I keep getting these weird emotions. Love, hate, hurt, comfort, disappointment. The first page was a song she had written:

'Crush'

I hung up the phone tonight

Something happens for the first time

Deep inside it was a rush. What a rush

'Cause the possibility

That you would ever feel the same way

About me. Just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?

All I ever think about is you

You got me hypnotize, so mesmerized

And I just go to know

Do you ever think when your all alone

All that we can be where this thing can go?

Am I crazy or falling in love?

Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch breath when I look at you?

Are you holding back like the way I do?

I've tried and tried to walk away

'Cause I've know this crush ain't going away

But I know this crush is not gong away-ay-ay-ay

Going away-ay-ay

Has it ever crossed your mind

When were hanging, spending time girl,

Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've got to take

'Cause I believe that we can make this into

Something that will last forever, forever!

Do you ever think when you're all alone

All the we could be, where this thing could go?

Am I crazy or falling in love?

Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch when I look at you?

Are you holding back like the way I do?

I'm trying to walk away

'Cause I've know this crush isn't going away

But I know this crush ain'tisn't gong away-ay-ay-ay

Going away-ay-ay

Why do I keep running from the truth?

All I ever think about is you

You got me hypnotize, so mesmerized

And I just go to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone

All that we can be, where this thing can go?

Am I crazy or falling in love?

Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch when I look at you?

Are you holding back like the way I do?

'Cause I've know this crush isn't going away

But I know this crush isn't gong away-ay-ay-ay

Going away

Going away-ay-ay

Going away-ay-ay

I couldn't think. Was this about me? Of course it is, she hangs out with my most of the time, there cant be anyone else, that means she has the same feeling has mine, I despertly needed her, mating season was coming up, and I hate but loved it all at the same time, I hated it because the imprint bond isn't has strong when your mate isn't mate, don't understand well, basically I could end up having sex with other girls since I haven't marked Bella yet.

I continue to read her poems and songs. I felt like everything had changed. I read how she really felt about me. How she hurting because of my selfishness, how can I be so stupid! She my imprint. I shouldn't be acting like this to her. I shouldn't be having her thinking I don't want her. I hope she wouldn't get mad. But, I'm going to write a long, apologetic letter to her because I just want to give her space and not make her feel like she obligated to love me.

-**Bella POV**-

While I was in the shower, I thought about many different things, finding out that my neighbors aren't humans, neither are the twin, and Craig, I realized I that I hate Phil, I hate him with such a passion, thinking about him made me see red most of the time, but then I remember he made me who I am today and I thank him for that but at the same time I wish I never met the fucking bastard, I wish that long ago I had the strength to beat the fuck out of him like he did me and my mother, I wish I was the one who made him suffer and killed him, I wish I gave me scars or always made him have to go to the hospital.

I sighed as I looked in the mirror, I still had scars, but they were hardly noticeable the only scars that were noticeable were the recent ones I gave myself on my wrist over the months, I've been so stressed, I don't understand why, I feel like my skin is crawling all the time and it makes me want to rip it off most of the time,

I got in the shower and actually just stood there for a few minutes letting the tears leak freely after I was free of tears I washed my hair with my favorite flavored shampoo and conditioner, once I was done, I took a blade and sat down in the tub, I thought exactly about where I wanted to mark myself and made several cuts on my wrist. Having the blood drop into the tub. Having the water wash it away, I cried, I cried because I knew internally I was weak, it surprises me that I'm still alive, I cried because I wanted Paul here to tell me that I was special, but that'll never happen.

I dried myself off and went into the room. I was alone in here, like always.


	8. new years

**Bella POV**

It's New Years Eve, everything is going great, and I got amazing gifts from everyone. It touched me heart because we're all like one big happy family.

Tomorrow is a new start, I can forget about my past, about Phil and how much I hated him. I can forget about everything and everyone and start fresh memories,

Today Paul told me to meet him in my room at 11:30 because he has something important to tell me. I was excited but at the same time nervous, debated repeatedly with myself on if I should change my outfit or not. I decided against it and kept on my same outfit. I looked at the clock and saw it was 11:45, he's 15 minutes late, just has I was about to leave the room, Paul came in.

"Hey, um sorry I took long…there was food." He said smiling.

"It's okay." I told him. We stood there awkwardly for a while before he asked me to sit down. I raised an eyebrow and obey.

"Okay, um, well, where should I began…" he said mumbling to himself. "The beginning…okay, remember the legends you're mom would tell you?" he asked me.

"Yeah, about wolves and vampires." I told him.

"Okay, what if I told you they were true, even, that I am a wolf, the Cullen's are vampires, Sam, Quil, Leah, Seth, Jake, Jared are wolves." He said. He looked me in the eyes when he told me this.

"I believe you." I said.

He looked at me, "really? Just like that?" he asked.

"Yeah. Just like that" I told him.

"Wow…well there's more, well there's imprinting, it's whe—" I cut him off.

"I already know what imprinting, it's when a wolf find their mate that is practically made for them in everyday." I said.

"How did you know?" he asked.

I got up and went to the box of box in the corner of my room, I shuffling through it until I found the book I was looking for.

"Mom use to read me these stories, she kept record of them because she knew I loved them a lot." I told him. "She also wanted me to keep in touch with my heritage." I explained.

"Wow, just wow." Paul said.

"I kind of figured something was up, I mean, Sam randomly calling you at times to 'work', the gray wolf I saw the other day, the howls at nighttime, Rachel and Rebecca phasing—"

"What?" he said, cutting me off?

"Rachel and Rebecca phasing?" I said, titling my head to the side.

"That…but…how?" he stuttered.

"Well, since Rachel and Rebecca Black are Jacob's sister I figured he could phase too, and they phased or into a rusted color along with Ashlee—" he was about to cut me off again until I gave him a glare "but she wasn't a wolf, she was more like a panther, brown fur, long tail, so I'm guess that Keyabell is one too, I actually did research on it too, but there was much information though." I explained.

Paul was silent for a while. Next thing you know, his lips are mine, I didn't push him away but grabbed him and pulled him closer, his body heat was ridiculously hot even though that our clothes, I felt his lick my bottom lip for an entrance and of course I allowed it, he easily picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him, and locking that around my ankles, I grabbed a fistful of his hair. I pulled away, gasping for air.

"Happy New Year." He said. It is finally January 1st 2007.

A new year, with a new start, so does this mean I have a boyfriend?


	9. school

"Name?" she asked

"Isabella Swan" I spoke up

"Age?"

"Seventeen."

"Grade?"

"Junior."

A few minutes later, she was printing out my schedule.

"Thank you." I said and left the office.

When I got outside, Paul took my schedule from me and started reading it off. "Hmm, 1st Geometry, 2nd, Biology, 3rd, study hall 4th, Gym, 5th, English, 6th, Lunch, 7th, Art, 8th, history." Paul said.

"On the bright side, you have classes with mainly Keyabell." Seth said.

"You have class with at least everyone different periods of the day.

The bell rang telling us that classes had begun.

I gave Paul a hug and said bye to everyone and we the opposite direction has them.

I walk into the Geometry class, when I got there I was pleased to see that the class was still empty, I went to the teacher, Ms. Burns and gave her a slip, she signed and told me to sit in the front of the class room, near the door. I thanked her and took a seat. The classroom started to get filled with other students, some from the res. something I notice is that the class was practically spilt, natives on ones side and the whites on the other. I thought it was kind of weird.

Second was the same retinue, I went to class, had my teacher sign my slip, but only this time, she introduced me to the class, I was embarrassed because everyone was just staring at me. I took my seat in the back; next to a girl name Karen.

During study hall, I did my homework that I was assigned for both classes, I hate geometry, the teacher is stupid and keeps going off the subject, she told me that if I need help to go to some website because she didn't want to fall behind on her teaching, I was annoyed that whole period. I decided to text Esme and see if she could help me over the weekend and of course she said yes.

During Gym, Sam told me not to be rough and not to use all my strength, though it was fun, have these girls were wearing booty short, and tank top, and flirting the with guys and coach, it was wrong and nasty, I left early because I didn't want to be around all that whoreness.

During English, my teacher Mr. James didn't shut up the whole, he was loud and made me jump all, everyone laughed at me when I fell off the chair when during the reading he announced that we have a new student Isabella Sawn.

Finally sixth period arrived, I haven't seen the pack or Cullen's all day, I hadn't made any friends, and I was disappointed of course. When I got to the lunchroom, I still didn't see them, I sighed and grabbed something to eat, pizza, fruit, vitamin water. When I was looking for a table, I saw Kim, I smiled and signed in relief, Kim explained that they have gym and always take forever getting here. I told her about my day, she laughed her ass off when I told her about Mr. James and his weirdness.

Soon enough the pack and Cullen's were coming into the café, they went on line to get the their food and came to seat with Kim and I.

"Yo Bella." Emmet said. "I heard you were falling for Mr. James today." Emmet said, everyone started laughing, I glared at him, and I didn't find it funny.

Paul took a seat next to me and started eating,

The whole time they were talking about different things. I was quite, I felt Paul place his large hand on my knee,

"Are you okay?" he asked,

I nod, "I was just in Lala land." I said.

I still haven't gotten around asking Paul about our relationship status, I mean, we kissed a few times, and I wouldn't mind if we went out, I just wish he was easier to read.


	10. kidnapped

Bella POV

It's the third week of school and people are still refereeing me as the "new" kid in school, which is pretty annoying because I've been hearing whispers and rumors about me. I'm currently in the bathroom, trying to pee when two girls came in.

"Did you hear Paul LaHote has a new girlfriend?" Girl number one said.

"I'm surprised. That manwhore is always getting a new girlfriend, I'm sure once he gets into her pants he drop her like yesterday news." Girl number two said.

"I'm surprised no one told her about Paul. He has fuck nearly the whole damn school and even flirted with teachers." Girl number one said.

It sad that no one has told me this. Is this what the whispers are about?

"I mean, I would love to laugh in her face, but then she'll be just like the rest of just, lied and used." She said. Then the bell rang indicating that it's time for lunch.

Once they left the bathroom, I went to the Café to look for Paul and the others, I didn't want to confront him on what I heard so I decided to drop the conversation for now.

The day ended pretty good, minus the times when Mike, the asshole was trying to talk to me, it's annoying because I don't like him and I've told him many times before that I didn't like him. Shit, Paul has even kissed me in front of him and he pretend like he didn't even notice. Man, that kid is annoy.

After school, Paul and the others had to patrol, so I decided to wander the woods.

My IPod died because I forgot to charge it so I had to make do with the sounds of the forest.

I slowed to a walk when I knew I was close to Emily's and I heard a rustling.

"Who's there?" I said, I stopped and locked around and saw no one. So I continued walking and I felt like was being watched. I turned around and there was a man standing behind. I had no time to scream before he grabbed me and hauled me over his shoulder and ran like a bat in daylight.


End file.
